


Pink Puppy

by inactivelyverby



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M, Humor, Other, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 03:31:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17459810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inactivelyverby/pseuds/inactivelyverby
Summary: Something short and silly I wrote over a decade ago for the long-dead IY communities on LJ.Inuyasha finds himself in an itchy situation and getting roasted as only friends can do.





	Pink Puppy

It has been discovered, that the only thing more humiliating than your friends being witness to an embarrassing moment, is your friends pointedly not mentioning the embarrassing moment. After said moment, it is typically better for said friends to point fingers, snicker, and tease. Then this particular hanyou could disguise his flustered state with anger, knock out the kitsune or monk, and be done with it! No, instead this hanyou was surrounded by the people closest to him, who all sat in silent self-restraint around the brazier in Kaede’s hut. At least the neko-youkai was staring at him in disbelief; that was something.

Finally, the silence was broken, and he’d wished he been content with it. It was, as usual, the monk that felt it necessary to put in his two-cents worth. With his back to the hanyou, he casually sipped his cup of tea before starting in on him.

“My friends, correct me if I’m wrong…” the monk inquired “… but our resilient hanyou, has he not had a poisoned hand plunged through his torso?”

Head nods. Hanyou grumbles.

“And, has he not been nearly maimed to death by countless youkai in the time we’ve known him?” the monk continued.

Emphatic nods. Emphatic grumbles. Even the neko threw in a ‘mew’.

“Hmm, what else am I forgetting, he’s been trampled-”

“-sliced-”, Sango.  
“-kicked-”, Kagome.  
“-beat up-”, Shippo.  
“-poisoned-”, Kaede.  
“-knocked unconscious-”, Myoga.  
“-mew-”, Kirara.

“Grrralright!!!! There better be a point to all of this monk!” Inuyasha growled out. With an exasperated sigh Miroku placed his cup of tea next to the brazier, and turned to speak directly to the peeved hanyou.

“My point, Inuyasha, is that in all the time we’ve known each other you have faced death numerous times, have nearly bled to death too many times for me to recall, have been bruised, battered, carved, cut, slashed, blown-up, knocked senseless, poisoned, and beaten to a near pulp, and have near always refused any type of medicinal assistance.”

“… so…” was his testy reply, a single ear twitching in nervous agitation; he was not liking where this was going.

“ _So_ , I am finding it difficult to understand why it is that all of a sudden you’ve submitted to Kagome’s ministrations, and allowed yourself to be covered nearly head to toe in pink paste? With all that you have been through in the past, is this truly the worst you’ve experienced?!” No response past a ‘keh’ was forth coming, but from where Kagome sat dabbing ‘pink paste’ on Inuyasha’s back she could see the blush of embarrassment. Intent on a distraction, she corrected the monk, “Actually, it’s called calamine lotion, Miroku, and if you’d ever had poison ivy before you’d know that short of scratching your skin off there’s no other way to make the itching stop.”

“So tell me lady Kagome, are you as vexed by your sudden case of the ivy as well?” A heated glare was her only response. Turning around to once again enjoy his tea, he stated to no one in particular, “Perhaps if two people rolling around together was kept to the arenas it should be, instead of a convenient bush late at night, such misfortunes would not occur-” With his last word his consciousness faded into a room full of fuzzy stars, then blackness. He felt the bottle of calamine land next to his head on the floor, and the last thing he heard was Inuyasha bark out a laugh before saying matter-of-factly, “Hey Kagome, you were right! This stuff takes care of all **_kinds_** of irritations!”


End file.
